The News Haiku Archive

The News Haikus
Week of April - 4th  - 08

A's B's & C's - Jamie

TL's ABC's
A's; "Guys Like Me" B's; #$%#  #&$&
What are the C's Then ?

Daddy Day Care - Tom

It's soon time to go
Three voices down, two to go
Lucky me, no snow.

Penny Lover - Wayne the Emailer

Penny for your thoughts,
Is subject to inflation.
Now costs a Nickel.

Come on be a Trooper - Wayne the Emailer
 
Instead of their troops.
France can save their time and send,
Le Drapeau Blanc .

The News Haikus
Week of March - 20 - 08

Springin Into Spring - Tom

Spring has sprung
Birds, flowers and sun
When May comes

THE GDA Preacher Man - Jamie

Rev Wright Or Rev Wrong
OB's In clean up mode now
GD Preacher man !

The News Haikus
Week of March - 14 - 08

You Me And Dupree Part 2 ? - Jamie

Lov Guv Not So Clean
You Me And Dupree Sequel ?
Serving Client Nine

The News Haikus
Week of March - 7 - 08

NAFTA CAD - Tom

Cadman, NAFTA quips
Is this a case of Loose lips
Sinking Tory ships

The White Stuff - Jamie

Eskimo snow words
Qanuk Quanir Shlim Nootlin
Our snow words @#*&$  #U@#

The News Haikus
Week of feb- 29- 08

Bleedin Blue & White - Tom

Mats Sundin to stay
The Leafs then begin to play
To Fletcher's dismay

Some Deep Do Do - Jamie

Wallowing in Filth
George is in some deep do do
Resign Now ? Depends

The News Haikus
Week of feb- 22- 08

K - VO - Tom

Kosovo to go
Serbia tries to say no
Embassy aglow

Red Carpet Thoughts - Jamie

Oscar Preditions
Juno No Country Juno
Thats my call Friendo

Pushing Daisys - Jamie

Fidel leads no more
pushing daisys just maybe
whats next for cuba ?

The News Haikus
Week of feb- 15- 08

Lost is Not so Lost - Tom

Writer's strike is over
The TV gods smile again
Addiction returns

Head Games - Jamie

Laws and Religion
go head to head, Helmut wars
Great gazoo knows all

The News Haikus
Week of feb- 8- 08

Mackin with McCain - tom

Mitt never caught on
Reagan's next hair rejected
McCain is the man

Ex Zip It A - Jamie

Dr Evil caught
Look Out Verne Troyer Your Next
Dr Horror ? Riiiighhhhht

Scramblin to the top - Jamie

Mitt Drops from the race
Clinton Obama but heads
McCain going Strong

Cold Canucks - Jamie

Weather Woes hits us
Have we all gone Torontarded
Thank you Rick Mercer

The News Haikus
Week of feb- 1- 08

Baby its cold outside - Tom

Kids left in the cold
How do we treat the parents?
Meat freezer justice

Cold Cold Maury days  - Jamie

Kids left in the cold
Better parents on Maury
"you are the father"

The News Haikus
Week of Jan - 25- 08

All Stocked up - Tom

Stock Markets plummet
Then stock markets skyrocket
Just another day

How much is that doggy at the Flea market - Jamie

Come look at this pup
awwwwww it licked me , lets buy it
rabies RABIES - WHAT !!!!!

The News Haikus
Week of Jan - 18- 08 

Nuked or Fired - Tom

Nuclear meltdown

The fallout claims a victim

Not so Keen is gone

Idol Bordem - Jamie

Idol back on air

Theres nothing else on tv

She bangs and i'm bored

The News Haikus
Week of Jan - 11- 08

Us Election - Tom

The Tears of Defeat

Hillary Cry's before loss

Hold on a Second

Next Window Please - Jamie

Order Etiquette

Rule Number 1 Common Sense

DONE !, No soup for you

The News Haikus
Week of December 21

Holiday Rush - Tom

Hurried, Frenzied rush
Stop, relax, take a deep breath
Smell the Christmas tree

Festivus - Jamie

Festive eats galore
jolly fat man on his way
Happy festivus

The News Haikus
Week of December 7

Plates - Tom

The Plate says Rev Jo

Racing drinking christ are no

That board has to go

Yule time Plates - Jamie

Revjo iza goh

bmmmmprr StmmmmPrrs waza sh-Oh

Funtmc-N OH

The News Haikus
Week of November 30

Hockey Days - Tom  

Hockey brouhaha.

Some spit flying from a jaw.

Against the law? Nah.

Young n Brawlin - Jamie

Hockey Brawl !

Are you kidding me ?]

There just 8

Moe the Bear - Jamie

Mohammed the bear

Students name the bear, She's wrong

Lashes for a bear?

Bom @ Rom - Jamie

Wronged at ROM

Not a bomb buffoon

This is art ?

The News Haikus
Week of November 16 

Noir Friday - Jamie

A buffet os sales

Canuck cash is border bound

Black friday CHA CHING

The News Haikus
Week of November 16

Schreiber Blues - Tom

Extradite Schreiber
Mulroney's alleged briber's
Pants are on fire

Talk Text Signal , Whats next ? - Jamie

Can you hear me now ?
{Honk HonK} HEY, Who taught you how to drive
Can you hear me now ? 

The News Haiku
Week Of November 9th

High Dollar - Tom

Loonie flying high
While manufacturers die
Central Bank stands by

Snow - Jamie

Frost Ice Sleet Flurries
Slipin slide on local roads
Get snow tires , pffffft

Seasons - Jamie

Seasonal shuffle is on
Snow tires and Christmas plans
Want some fruit cake tom ?

Remembrance Day - Jamie

Brave Canadians
Remembered this weekend
Freedom fought , thank you

Week Of November 2nd - Roundabout Bacon

Roundabouts - Tom

Stop and go, stop go.

Roundabouts keep it moving though

Helps the traffic flow

Bacon - Jamie

Sizzle , Pop, Juicy

mmmmmm Bacon so very tasty

Fat Tax, Nahhhh , Exlax

Tax- Jamie

Tisk Tisk Tisk

Dion is squirming

tax tax tax  

Week Of October 26th - Getting Fat, Canadian Dollar and Califonia Fires

We're Fat - Jamie

Some Chubby Canucks

Kids Are Packing On The Pounds

Should Schools Do Something?

CALI FIRE - Jamie

Fire Burns Cali Red

The Governator Helps Cali

"Get To The Choppa"

CALI FIRE - Tom

California burns.

The Govenators mind churns.

What luck! The wind turns.

Week Of October 15th - Dion and the Throne  

DISHARMONIOUS

UNAPOLOGETICAL

CONTINUATION

Dion is cornered

a new day(song clip) - oops wrong dion

fed red toughs it out

Harper has the will

Serve with skill the poison pill

Dion on the grill

CKTB NEWS HAIKUS SO FAR

Leaders Debate - Tom/Jamie

The Leaders Debate

Three Stoogaes up on a stage

Wobububububububu

Health Care - Jamie

Sick am i

two tire could be good

six hour wait !!!!

Canadian Dollar - Jamie

Canuck Buck is up

Swing swing we are at par now

soring like eagle

OJ - Jamie

The Juice in Trouble

Sin City deals OJ bad hand

MV thanks OJ

Britney - Jamie

In Trouble again britney

Nude Drugs and a comeback bomb

K Fed better man

Tory and Booze - Jamie

Torys says bottoms up

LCBO or Kwiki mart

thank you come again

Tory - Jamie

Flip Flop Fly

Choose tory or not

5 days left

Drugs - Jamie

Puff Puff Pass

Drugs are bad mm kay

hangin tough ?

Hampton is mad - Jamie

Howies Hot

Blames Media

Tisk tisk tisk

Dear Johns - Jamie

Some dear john letters

Ottawa is watching the johns

no private dancers

Tv & Kids - Jamie

UHF

TV for the kids

The Boob tube

Street Racing - Jamie

Cops enforce road rules

No more go speed racer go

Photo Radar plug

The Election

Red Blue Green Orange

The choice was yours wednesday

four years of red, hun

Dimtario - Jamie

Can of worms faith based

Dimtario picked the red

4 years of red , hun

Winners / Losers - Jamie

The winners have won

The losers have lost again

people will fear change

Ontario Never forgets - Jamie

Catholic Schools

Now left in the cold , what next ?

Could the end be near ?

Majority twice.

no more broken promises?

taxes cut? yeah right.